By Mark Cardona
MEMPHIS, Tennessee--The Promise Keepers clergy conference in Atlanta, Feb.
13 to 15,
So, I went to the Promise Keepers clergy conference with an agenda: Do I continue in the ministry, and if I do, what needs to change? I knew that I could not do it by constraint much longer--something had to give.
I prayed that God would lead me to an answer, and I asked pastors not of our fellowship to pray for me personally in my struggle.
Through each conference speaker the Holy Spirit spoke to me louder and louder: it's me you need! I needed to yield to the Holy Spirit. I had an inkling that this might be my answer even before I went, but shut it out.
By the last day, though, the Spirit was not to be denied: I was, plain and simple, doing ministry on my own--my solutions, my words, my ministry--all cloaked in a Christian robe.
An even louder answer came: you must surrender all to me! I knew, deep in my heart, that I had never given up my will to Jesus. I put on a good show--even alluding to the thought that sometimes ministry is an act--which of course, at times, it was.
When I left Friday morning, Feb. 16, to drive home, it was showdown time, and the Holy Spirit convicted me to repent and surrender to him. I had driven only a few miles when I had to pull off, as I simply could not drive.
I prayed, wept, confessed my sins and rededicated my life to Jesus. However, I was in a snowstorm, and not wanting to get snowed in, I felt compelled to drive on.
As I continued, I struggled with this question: had I truly surrendered?
Just outside of Jasper, Alabama, I felt I needed to get off the road again. I came to a right turn lane, which led to an empty parking lot at a funeral home. I decided to sit there and do whatever it took to get an answer to my dilemma.
However not wanting to be embarrassed by a passing car, I turned around and faced the home. Then I saw it. On the hill in front of me was a replica of Calvary--three wooden crosses adjoining a cemetery.
Words fail me when I try to describe the moment, but I was drawn to that cross like a magnet. I have not had an experience like it before--to walk up to a replica of Jesus' death instrument--and to lay my sins at its foot.
I could then turn and visualize my burial in the nearby cemetery. When I did, I realized that I had surrendered all--finally. I know this was no mere accident, but that the Holy Spirit led me there.
I have now truly met the risen Lord of my life, and know what surrender means. His Spirit was moving in the Promise Keepers conference, and many prayers were answered. Whether a national or worldwide revival is taking place remains to be seen, but I know that I am experiencing a revival myself.
Mark Cardona pastors the Memphis and Jackson, Tennessee, churches and is a regional pastor.
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