'I know my life is missing something'

Belief, faith, salvation, a personal relationship with God. What do these words mean to me? More to the point, what do these concepts mean to me?

I confess.

I don't know, yet.

I wish I did. I know my life is missing something in a spot where there should be answers to these questions.

I know the words. I understand the doctrines. It would be so easy just to pretend and say all the right things and do all the right things and try to fool myself and those around me that I really have my life figured out.

But in my heart, what would I have accomplished beyond compromising my honesty?

At the heart of the doctrinal changes the church has made is the teaching of salvation by grace.

As sinners we have all incurred the penalty of death, and nothing we can physically do can erase that penalty. It is only through our acceptance of Christ and his sacrifice that we can embrace the gift of salvation.

I applaud the scholarship of the church's leadership and the positive new direction I see the church taking. Salvation is no longer some prize at the end of a gauntlet of fear that one's life has not been good enough.

One of the main criticisms that former members of the Worldwide Church of God have made of this teaching is that somehow it promotes going out and being as bad as you want, and as long you accept Christ it's all OK.

I am amazed, however, at the simplicity of what they seem to be missing.

Honest believers

For those comfortable living under a teaching of salvation through works, the burden may be heavy, but at least it's tangible. "If I just do this, this and this I will be saved."

The requirement for salvation through grace is actually more difficult. Doing is no longer the issue. One must believe.

Not just say the words, but truly, honestly believe. That kind of belief can't be artificially manufactured; it must come through faith.

It is the kind of belief that has led this church to doctrinal changes in the face of tremendously adverse financial consequences.

While John 6:44 provides some comfort that the questions I ask in my own life are normal and can't be answered alone, I don't understand how those who claim to have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ can so misunderstand the implications of salvation through grace.

How can you honestly believe in Jesus Christ and still want to go out into the world and intentionally do the wrong thing?

It simply doesn't fit

Christians are not saved by keeping the law. But Christians are never free from awareness of the penalty that has been paid for their sins. How then could Christians go out and flaunt their lawbreaking in the face of their Savior?

Paul made it clear to the Romans that grace did not entitle them to live a life of sin: "What shall we say, then? Shall we go on sinning so that grace may increase? By no means! We died to sin; how can we live in it any longer?" (Romans 6:1-2).

The author wishes to remain anonymous. The author grew up in the church and finds the changes in the Worldwide Church of God a source of strength and inspiration. While the fog of legalism is still lifting the author is still working through the past.