Women's Ministry

Elders' Wives conference

Arlene.jpg (5045 bytes) By Arlene Schnippert

LOS ANGELES, California--Ninety elders' wives met Sept. 4 to 6 at the Renaissance Hotel for the first elders' wives conference.

The conference, organized by Jannice May, included six women from England, five from Canada and four from the Caribbean. They learned about living the role of a minister's wife. The theme of "bonding and connecting in the presence of God" was expanded by several guest speakers.

The conference opened Friday night after a reception and worship music by the Oasis Praise Band from Pasadena.

Curtis May, regional pastor for the Southern California and Hawaii region, made opening remarks. This was followed by a talk from Dan Rogers, superintendent of ministers.

Tammy Tkach spoke about things to be thankful for, especially God's unconditional love, and how we need to be in community with our sisters.

After a buffet breakfast Saturday morning, the meetings for the day started as they all would, with scripture readings, worship singing and special music.

Lorraine Pelley, a minister's wife from Rhode Island, was the music leader for the weekend.

Guest speakers

Hart.jpg (8643 bytes) Kathleen Hart, chaplain to student wives at Fuller Theological Seminary, had the first message.

She first covered the advantages and disadvantages of being a minister's wife, the qualities needed to be effective, feelings and emotions one has to deal with, and the needs of wives in the ministry.

She also went over questions we can ask that keep us honest before God. The bottom line is that "there is no problem greater than God."

Johnson.jpg (5881 bytes) Jan Johnson, an award-winning author, took the next hour to discuss the "Lone Ranger Myth" in women's ministry, which is that pastors' wives can't have friends or tell anyone their problems.

She explained how Christ spent a lot of time building community, and that we all need it in our lives with our mates, our friends and the church members. We must stay vulnerable to people and surrender our need to change and control them.

The ladies started the afternoon by hearing from a third guest speaker, Sharon Hart Morris, the daughter of Kathleen Hart.

She is working on a Ph.D. in marriage and family therapy at Fuller Graduate School of Psychology.

She told the story of her husband's death last year in a car wreck at age 36, and how in spite of life's trials and traumas, God will always bring you into a "good land" as described in Deuteronomy 8:1-18. Her main point was that God values us women as treasured possessions in process.

Her talk was followed by another message from Jan Johnson, who discussed a second myth about ministers' wives, which is that they are supposed to be like caulking guns, always filling the cracks so nothing will leak.

Her main point was that we have a responsibility to find our calling and a purpose in life. "Let your heart be broken by the things that break the heart of God." She gave several points on how to be attentive to God's creative process.

After dinner that evening, the women returned for an open discussion that included talks from a panel of five longtime minister's wives: Virginia Rice, Norva Kelly, Marge Friddle, Pat Halford and Helen Jackson. These women represent 161.5 years as ministers' wives, and their speeches reflected a wealth of experience and understanding.

Sunday, Sept. 6, was another full day of worship, music, speeches and closing remarks.

Kathleen Hart spoke first, and the title of her talk was "A Heart Set on God." She stressed that life is a vapor, so we must make sure our choices of action reflect Christ. You must receive God's love and let that love speak for you, she said.

Jan Johnson presented a third myth about pastors' wives in her final talk, which was that the pastor and his spouse are like "spiritual pixies" and have the perfect life. She urged us to seek a spiritual discipline such as meditation to help us connect with God. The ladies then had a question and answer session with Mrs. Hart and Mrs. Johnson.

After dinner, everyone met again. After worship music and two solos, Pastor General Joseph Tkach conducted a question and answer session.

This was followed by a final talk by Dan Rogers. The question he asked and then answered was "how does our church view the role of the elders' wives? The truth is there is no preconceived mold for the pastors' wives other than the mold of Christ. Put God's expectations of you first and be the best of who you are.

Finally, Curtis May with the help of Barbara Rogers and Tammy Tkach led a communion service.

The conference concluded with the song, "Go Light Your World," while a dozen ladies lit candles.

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