Verily, my daughter, an husband is a good thing.

He giveth the house a finished look--

Like unto a brass door knocker or a potted palm upon the patio.

A perfect husband--who can find one?

For his price is far above Telecom shares.

The heart of his wife rejoiceth in him

And he shall lack for no encouragement.

He worketh willingly with his hands and bringeth home all his shekels.

He riseth with the alarm and putteth on the kettle.

He bringeth his wife a dish of tea in bed.

And kisseth her, occasionally.

All the week doth he labor at the office

And upon his day off he doeth chores about the house for relaxation.

With his own hand he runneth the lawnmower and washeth the car.

He layeth his hand also to the dripping tap

Yea, even unto the blocked cistern.

He remembereth the garbage collection day.

His greasy footmark falleth not upon the carpet

Nor his grimy hand upon the drapery.

He is not afraid of the Mormon who calleth upon the Sabbath morning

His wife is known within the gates when she luncheth with her peers

By the cut of her gowns and her imported shoes.

He always noticeth her new outfit

And grumbleth not at the bills.

Grouch knoweth him not

And his breakfast always pleaseth him

He luncheth meagerly upon a vegemite sandwich

That he may adorn her with fine jewels

His mouth is filled with praises for his wife's cooking

Though she daily offereth a burnt offering.

And he perceiveth not the existence of other women.

Alas, my daughter, weep not if this man hath passed you by

For the happiest wife is not she who getteth the best husband

But she that maketh the best of what she getteth.

Behold, the Lord maketh the man

But the wife maketh an husband!

Used with permission.