DIFFERENCES BETWEEN MEN AND WOMEN

NICKNAMES:

If Emma, Suzanne, Debra and Michelle go out for lunch, they will call each other Emma, Suzanne, Debra and Michelle. But if Mike, Phil, Rob and Jack go out for a beer, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Useless.

EATING OUT:

When the bill arrives, Mike, Phil, Rob and Jack will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $22.50. None of them will have anything smaller, and none will actually admit they want change back. When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

BATHROOMS:

A man has six items in his bathroom - a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Holiday Inn. The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 437. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.

ARGUMENTS:

A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

CATS:

Women love cats. Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.

FUTURE:

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

DRESSING UP:

A woman will dress up to: go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, get the mail. A man will dress up for: weddings, funerals.

NATURAL:

Men wake up as good-looking as when they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

OFFSPRING:

Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends and favorite foods and secret fears and hopes and dreams. A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.